Tips From An Introvert on Being Happy & Well-Adjusted

Happy? Yes. Well-adjusted, I mean, it’s debatable but getting there 😛 I’m an introvert, I would argue that I am an extreme case of introvert and it is something that can interfere with work and my social life but it’s just who I am. It used to really irritate me as a kid (and it still does) when people chalked it up to me being shy or not confident or quiet – I just socialize differently but I can understand how it can put people off. I am clearly no expert but here are some ways that I remain a happy, moderately well-adjusted introvert:


Seems simple but it still happens and every time that I do it, I know that I am going to regret it. I can be very engaging and charismatic for periods of time but I cannot emotionally commit to three events in a weekend. I know that by the time I get to Sunday that I will be a wreck and I won’t enjoy whatever I have dedicated myself to. There will be times when this cannot be avoided and when I find myself getting irritated or overwhelmed, I set out with intention. I recognize that I was invited to something because someone who is important to me wanted me to be there and I get over it.


If I said I was going to go, I just gotta’ suck it up or else it will become a pattern of behavior and nobody likes a flake even if you have a solid reason for being one. Most people in my life know and understand if I have cancelled but I really hate doing it and strive not to.


I enjoy my solitude – I will go to the movies by myself, I will take myself to lunch, coffee, etc – I like just being able to go and not having to feel like I have to be on. Chances are, if you are an introvert, you could give a shit about people looking at you but if you do mind, take a book! A book is a great barrier, only absolute cretins will interrupt someone immersed in a book.


Chances are, it isn’t going to be that bad. Being an extreme introvert, I have absolutely walked into a room and walked right back out if I feel that I just can’t deal with it. I don’t get panic attacks or anxiety, people exhaust me but I think it’s healthy do something spontaneous every once in awhile and generally, I have a good time. I won’t lie, there have been times when I get in the car and am elated to be going home but that’s rare.


This might seem totally random but as an introvert who also has resting bitch face, I might not want people to approach me but I still want to seem approachable. I want people to think that I am friendly and the best way to do this is by smiling.


While it doesn’t bother me to sit with someone in companionable silence, I know that this can make people uncomfortable. It doesn’t hurt to give a little, I have found that if you get someone talking about something they are really passionate about, they will be plenty content with you just being there and listening.


I don’t apologize for who I am, life is too short to waste your time trying to please everyone (or literally anyone). When I tell someone that I can’t do something this time but they’ll see me next time, I absolutely mean that and I expect this to be OK – if isn’t, then I don’t waste my time.

Am I an expert? Absolutely not, these are just some coping techniques that I use in my day to day life. I hope you enjoyed – thanks for stopping by <3


  • Shannon Paige

    Love this! Not cancelling is # 1 for me and I have gotten better. What sucks even more is being an introvert with social anxiety (me…) because then a lot of your patterns can become unhealthy and actually “giving” in to your anxiety.

  • hoiyinli

    We are alike – I am an introvert too! 🙂 I think the main thing is balance. I have my phases where I can be a complete hermit and love staying at home or I can be real social and go hang with my friends. I am like this on social media too. I find that I am in my best state when I don’t strive to be either extremes and when I give myself some space otherwise I’ll burn myself out.

    Haha, I have a bit of a resting bitch face too. When I’m not smiling, I can look real miserable and people have kinda always said this to me growing up so I try to smile even when I have a neutral face.

    • Stella

      I agree – it’s important to mix it up! Sometimes I really do enjoy social gatherings but most of the time not 😁 Same, people often comment that I look unhappy when really I’m not feeling any way at all 😂 Ah, well.

      • hoiyinli

        I enjoy social gatherings if it is intimate (limited number of people, not hugely daunting). I am the type of person who doesn’t enjoy small talk so social gatherings can feel quite painful for me because of all the small talk if you know what I mean?

        Haha exactly!!

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