Sheesh, this is a post that I never fathomed that I would be writing. I have been alluding to the fact that some stuff has been going on in my personal life but wasn’t sure what the outcome would be or if I wanted to share anything on my blog or not but since it will impact my bloggerlife, I guess I will. The BF and I have come to the decision to end our 6 1/2 year relationship and it really sucks. We have decided to be amicable and I don’t know if that makes it better or worse, I have only had one other ex-boyfriend and it was relatively easy to move on because I was angry at him. This time, I feel like I am losing my best-friend. We did most everything together, his presence permeates every aspect of my life – my favourite restaurants, movies, music, books literally everything because we shared all those things together. Promotions, disappointments, loss, shitty apartments to house hunting, he even helped me get my blog started so what seemed like a great outlet before has become a bit of a downer. I am not afraid of being single, what hurts the most is he was it for me and I can recognize that. People are so sweet and have told me that I will move on, find someone else – but that isn’t true for me and I will be OK eventually, on my own. I know that this is just the natural, human response and while I appreciate the effort, it’s just not applicable. I am just so done with (romantic) human relationships, they are great when everything is good but when they aren’t good, you feel awful. And it is so odd that everyone just seems to forget how awful they felt in the aftermath and are so ready to jump into it all over again, not me, whatever ‘it’ is isn’t worth it anymore. I know this sounds dramatic but I don’t think I am going to get over this feeling. If love isn’t enough to keep two people together then what is?
Anyway, I will perhaps share more at another point but if it seems like I am just going through the motions, it’s because I am. I also don’t want to turn my blog into a pity party, terrible shit happens literally everyday and this is a small thing in comparison but a big thing to me. I don’t really know what my content is going to look like, I don’t want to post a bunch of depressing shit but my heart isn’t into anything at the moment. I will post a Best of June tomorrow but unsure of what else from there.
I hope that you stick with me and that you are having a beautiful day. Thanks for listening <3