Life&Style,  Random

When You’ve Only Got 100 Years to Live

Every year, I wake up on my birthday and have one of those Sixteen Candles moments where I assess myself in the mirror and expect a tangible change of some kind. Like, one day I am going to be this sophisticated woman who has all of her shit together, a closet stocked with an assortment of power suits, a briefcase, a British accent, a 4-door sedan – you know, all of the little things that I feel I should acquire at the ripe age of 32. And the breast thing, I have been waiting for that to happen for literally the last 17 years and I’m still fucking waiting πŸ˜› (watch the movie). But there’s nothing, I still feel just as I did at 18, 21, 25, 30 – a little awkward, shy, too cynical for my own good and still waiting on something to happen. While pumping my tires last night in sub-zero weather, it did occur to me that I’m probably too old for a sugar daddy at this point so that made me feel older πŸ˜€ Anyway, I have experienced a lot in my lifetime but I don’t feel wiser for it, I don’t ever give people life advice because people are going to do what they are going to do and don’t ever ask me for relationship advice because:

But in all seriousness, when does one start to feel old? Is it a mindset or is it just purely physical? If I had more aches and ailments, would I feel older? What if that never happens, will I just be a 21 year old in an old lady’s body because that sounds terrifying. Some of my peers seem much older than I am or I meet people and am surprised that they are my same age because they seem older. They don’t necessarily look older, it’s in their decorum and mannerisms and I feel that I don’t have that same deportment. Perhaps I seem older to other people as well but I feel a little less developed than others in my friend group. I don’t feel that I’m immature, I mostly have my shit together – I have a place to live, I have a serviceable vehicle, I make livable money, I had hobbies that are suitable for my age (the LEGO box does say 0-99), I can stomach wine on occasion (actually, it makes me gag), I have health insurance. By most standards, I’m a regular 32 year old and am not stunted given the societal parameters accepted by the majority population. I’m not afraid of aging because if this is it then bring it on but I am afraid of not feeling my age, how will that impact my relationships? Or, what if one day I wake up and suddenly feel really old and I can’t recall when I felt young. Like, when you’ve been sick for a super long time and forget what it’s like to be able to breath through two nostrils? That old adage about youth being wasted on the young, am I wasting my youth because I just assume that it’s going to last indefinitely until one day I wake up and I’m old?! I feel as though I am wasting my glory days because I don’t realize that this is it. Maybe age is just a state of mind and if I keep thinking young then I will just remain young. I remember thinking that being 21 would be so old and 30 would be ancient but now that I’m there, it just feels the same. In 8 years I will be 40 and I do find that shocking but then again, I don’t think I’m going to feel drastically different than I do now.

Ugh, anyway – I am going to watch some PBS tonight and see if that doesn’t make me feel more mature. How old are you? Do you feel that age, do you feel a passing of time on your birthday? I’m curious to know how others feel about the whole aging thing, does it hit you all at once? Is it coming, should I be relishing in breathing through both nostrils?! Let me know…

4 Comments

  • hoiyinli

    “I am afraid of not feeling my age” – I relate to this SO HARD.

    I am 26 going onto 27 and I definitely don’t feel that age at all. I still feel like 22 and of course, it doesn’t help that people really think I’m still a student. In some cases, people think I’m crazy young (like in my teens) and on other occasions, others think I’m like a university student. I’m not entirely mad though I gotta say! I think it’s healthy anyways to have a youthful mindset/outlook. They say stress ages you after all, haha.

    I do worry about not feeling my age and I think sometimes people mistake this for not being mature enough. I think it’s all about having a healthy and positive mindset and a good amount of self care…so yeah, I think it’s more of a mental thing.

    • hoiyinli

      p.s I also forgot to mention that I watched Sixteen Candles for the first time last year and what a cute/funny film! I love Molly Ringwald! She’s such a babe in that film. It was interesting listening to her thought process.

      • quitesimplystella

        She totally is, love her as well!! It’s a classic, definitely a favorite. So glad you enjoyed as well 😘

    • quitesimplystella

      Right?! Exactly! People never think I’m as old as I am and I always wonder if it’s because I’m immature or just don’t look my age? Same, doesn’t bother me too much ☺️

      I agree, it’s gotta be a mental thing and I’m just going to keep thinking young 😘

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: